We met Shannon Anderson-Hammond at Starbucks in Hyde Park – one of her favorite places in the world. For Shannon, coffee is life. With her early wake-up time, intense daily workouts, exceptional work ethic, and passion for creating communities for women on and off social media, it’s no wonder that she needs a little pick-me-up throughout the day.

She’s been through her fair share of hard times, from battles with depression to surviving abusive relationships. She’s an open book who loves sharing her journey with the world to help others. She prizes transparency, encouraging everyone to speak their truth and know that no matter what we’re going through, we’re not alone. In the spirit of that message, she established YANA (You Are Not Alone), an online community where women can connect, share stories, and support one another without judgment.

Content warning: Domestic violence and suicide are discussed throughout this article.

Interview by Kristyn Bridges. Photography by Angie Lipscomb.

Tell us about YANA. What inspired you to create it?

YANA (You Are Not Alone) is an empowerment group that I created in April of this year. It’s for women to have a group of other genuine women in their circle, where we can lean on each other, talk to each other without feeling any type of judgement or fear. I wanted to have a platform for women to just be themselves and have a voice.

Growing up, I never really had a whole bunch of friends, but I've always wanted to have that Oprah-and-Gayle type of friendship. And I could never really find that; you find that friend that you think is your friend, and somewhere down the line something happens. You go your separate ways, or somebody might be feeling some kind of way and doesn't want to have that conversation, and then that whole friendship just dissolves. Then you're sitting there like, "What did I do? What just happened? I thought we were on the same page." Just to be able to have that open communication – that's what I want.

I knew there was somebody else out there who wants that; that's why I created the YANA group. And when I put it out there, it was just like, "Yes, yes, yes! I want that!" I always thought it was hard trying to find a woman friend or a group of women friends that you could really count on and that have your back 100% and support you, inspire you, push you, and motivate you. And now with social media, it's almost like a competition – even in your own circle. So how do you decipher that? You know what I mean? You have to have a spirit of discernment. So, it's like, you got all these different protective barriers and protective things going on; you just want to be free. I just want to be free, be myself, and not put on no fake façade or anything, and be accepted.

Where do you want to see YANA in the next 5 years?

In the next 5 years, I’d like to see a YANA house – just a house for women to be able to come if they need somewhere to vent. Just like coming over to your girlfriend's house. Wine is there; we got counselors on hand; we got pool tables; we got TVs, chefs – this is what I see. I want that type of positive energy circulating through the house. It's sort of like a happy shelter. You want to try to come out of that mindset of “woe is me”; you want to start trying to heal.

What is your greatest life lesson learned? How has that impacted the way you live your life?

I think the greatest life lesson for me is not to expect the same things that I give to people to return back to me. If I pour my energy and my heart into a person, I always expect that back. You'll pour, pour, and pour until you're drained, and you don't get it back. And that other person is filled up with all this energy.

I love to make new connections, but you also gotta have your own boundaries; if not, people take, they take, they take, they take, and then you're sitting there drained wondering what happened.

So, if I do give myself, I need to step back and do self-care to fill myself back up. For me personally, I have to really watch my mental care when it comes to that, because I'm a suicide attempt survivor, domestic violence survivor. I've lived through my trials. I have to really watch who's in my circle, watch who's in my path, and just take a step back. And I'm okay with saying no. I have no problem saying no and being like, “Okay, this relationship or this friendship is not for me.” I have to protect my whole inner self.

I love to make new connections, but you also gotta have your own boundaries; if not, people take, they take, they take, they take, and then you're sitting there drained wondering what happened. They're skipping down the street with all your energy while you're sitting there depressed and you don't know what's wrong. And then things start snapping in your head and you realize they're not the person you thought they were. You gotta treat them with long-handled spoons, but you can still love them. Sometimes you gotta love people from a distance. But you don't want to have a wall, either.

Are you open to sharing a little bit about your mental health journey?

When I graduated high school, I went to Dayton and met my son's father, and I got pregnant. I was in that relationship for about 5 years. It was rough: a lot of abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse; he was telling me how ugly I was, that my nose was big, my teeth at the time were a little jacked up. (But when I got some dental insurance that was the first thing I did [laughs]: Got my teeth fixed, okay.) I'm from Cincinnati, but I lived in Dayton, so I would leave, go back, leave, go back. My mom, my sister, all of them were intertwined in that mess with me, and when I finally decided to leave for good, my son was 3, and I just couldn't take it. I left work, packed my son up; we just had the clothes on our backs. Came here to Cincinnati; then a couple of days later, my sister and my mom put us on a Greyhound bus to California, 'cause he was looking for us. He beat me up in front of my mother, you know. It was a lot going on.

So fast forward: I left him and then I got into a marriage. I was only like 25 years old; got into a marriage that was a little bit of emotional and mental abuse, too, in a way to where I was manipulated into becoming a stripper. I had a day job at Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, but I was working as a dancer at night and he was my manager. When we separated, he got a stripper pregnant. That's what really took me down that whole depression road. My son was gone with his dad, and I took a handful of pills and tried to commit suicide. That wasn't the first time; I did it when I was younger – I was sitting up cutting and all this stuff and whatever.

But when I took the pills, I called poison control. Something just made me call; I feel like it was God, 'cause I laid there and was like, “This is not what I really wanted to do.” But when you're in that moment, you don't care. It's like, "Ain't nobody gonna miss me."

He and I finally got divorced, and I'm still working on rebuilding all of that, rebuilding my confidence. I'm 46 years old and I'm still working on that. I still struggle with depression; I still struggle with post-traumatic stress, and I still struggle with suicidal thoughts. I sit sometimes and I'm thinking, "Why am I here? I know it's gotta be something bigger for me.” So that's what's driving me to do what I do, but in the same sentence, I'm human and I still have those down days where I'm sitting there by myself feeling like I don't have that friend that I can call on.

When I talk about it, it's a healing process for me, and I'm still healing from it. The older you get, you're still learning. You're going to keep learning every single day until the day you die. I'm learning more about who I am, what my weaknesses are, what my strengths are, what makes me tick. I'm still trying to figure all of that stuff out.

In addition to being an advocate for mental and emotional health, you also have a strong passion for fitness. Tell us a bit about your fitness journey and how that led you to inspire others while building a community.

So in the midst of all that, I gained some weight and I was just like, “I'm not happy.” You know, you look in the mirror and you just jiggling stuff; you like, “Man I can't deal with this.”

We went to Miami and I was like, “Before I turn 40, I want to look like these women on the beach because they just look amazing; they work out; they look great. I just want to look like that.” So when I came back from that vacation – I was 39 at the time – I started working out and I started talking about my journey on Facebook, talking about losing weight, and just keeping people inspired, because trying to stay committed to that whole process is hard as hell. 'Cause you're like, “I don't feel like going to work out today” or, “I don't feel like eating this today.” It's a mindset change, so it's not like it's going to be an overnight thing.

Every single day we're transforming into a different person.

So, in 18 months, I had lost like 60 pounds. Then I started to join bodybuilding competitions, which I loved. That's a whole beast in itself with the food and the training and the money. I started running half marathons. I have my walking group, Walk2Fit, that I've been doing for 4 years now. We meet four days a week; we walk 5 to 6 miles a day. It's all free. It's just trying to keep people accountable on their journey. Just having that group of women that's all in this together.

I love the whole fitness thing. It's a lifestyle change, so the more you do it, the more it's going to be embedded. And then you can kind of find that balance. I still eat crappy stuff, but I'm not going to gain 20 pounds overnight because I know how to get back the next day and do what I need to do. At one point, it wasn't such a healthy balance for me. I feel like I was having an eating disorder 'cause I'm like, "I'm scared to eat carbs." Especially during the bodybuilding stuff. It's just really, really hard. So that's where I try to keep people accountable with just doing what you're doing. I'm always trying to be people's cheerleader, 'cause I've been there. Everything I talk about, I've been there. So, when I tell people, "I understand," it's not just saying it. I super understand 'cause I've been in those shoes before.

What in your life are you most grateful for?

I'm grateful for life, my health, my husband, my son. Because at one point I felt like I was not going to be here. My mind was playing tricks on me. I felt like people weren't liking me or appreciating me. I would have all these negative thoughts. It's crazy how those come like that. And it's not that somebody did anything to me, but it's just that feeling. So, for me, I'm grateful for my life right now. I'm continuously working on becoming much more grateful and just staying humble.

What legacy do you hope to leave for young women in Cincinnati and beyond?

That they know that they are not alone. That's the legacy that I would like to leave and for them to be like, "Shannon inspired me to be much more confident, speak my voice, speak my truth." Don't be afraid of your truth. A lot of people put on this fake persona every day when they're walking out. It's like, why? Don't be afraid or don't be so hard on yourself, because whatever you went through in life prepared you for where you're at now. So why be ashamed of that? We did it.

That's why at the end of each of my quotes or memes I put in the YANA group, I always put a butterfly symbol. Butterflies symbolize growth and transformation, and we're all still in that same thing every single day. Every single day we're transforming into a different person. If you're going to be the same person that you were, you're not growing to become the person that God intended for you to be.

Tell us about an influential woman in your life.

My grandmother. Oh my god. Tears just, like, well up. She's the strongest person ever, in my life. Even though she was all over the place, she'd speak her mind, and I respect that. For her to speak her truth, that's where I learned that: Speak your truth; don't be afraid of where you come from. Don't be afraid of where you're going. She was not afraid of anything. She used to always tell me, "They gon‘ talk about you until the day you die. What can you do about it?" How you react to it is what characterizes you.

She was everything. She raised all of us, our kids, grandbabies – I mean, everything. She left an imprint on the city. She used to be on this show, “The Lincoln Ware Show”; she was always calling all the time. We had to live-stream her funeral. People were coming in, like, "I never met her, but I listened to her on the radio." She left such a huge impact on the city and I just want to follow in that footstep.

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Shannon Anderson-Hammond: You Are Not Alone