Written by Emma Willig. Original artwork by Abby McGuire.

Be real with me right now – dating was already tough pre-pandemic, then add on everything else that has been 2020. And what now? Are we supposed to date virtually? I mean, it was already confusing enough trying to figure out which app to use and which pictures to upload.

Don’t even get me started on creating a tag line for your profile that sounds cute, funny, but not-over-the-top, chill, but not-trying-too-hard-to-be-chill, but not sounding thirsty. Do I tell my family I met someone at Rhinegeist or on Tinder? Okay, so I have to start a new random hobby or date someone at work – and right now, neither those work. Trust me, friends, you aren’t alone. All age groups are having trouble navigating the world of dating in our tech-centered world, and now things have only escalated by about a billion.

The questions that I received from you all over the last few months were pretty similar, so I’ll summarize. There were a lot of questions about navigating dating in our current state of being – getting over some of the great hills, like going on a... Zoom... date?

So here we go:

Is finding love in the time of COVID-19 a possibility? And if so, HOW?

I say: Yes. And sure, some may call me a hopeless romantic, but I can promise you, I am not hopeless, ever. I’m very hopeful, and that’s why I believe that with some logic, market research (if you will), tried and true soul searching, and an “as you like it” measurement topping of cupid dust sprinkles, universal juju, or karmic blessing – it’s all possible.

Let’s break those down a bit: Logic. Alright, it’s a pandemic. We are in “unprecedented times.” The anxiety of COVID + social justice + seasonal depression + COVID weight gain + the future of our children + loneliness + elections + drowning in memes – it goes on and on this year. But you are still you. And you are still fabulous. If you want to go on a date – you’re still getting into those jeans, you still deserve new fall boots, you still can have a glass of wine or a mocktail, and you can still have a great dating experience or a laugh-until-you-cry story to tell your friends later, just like the good ol’ times. And yes, that’s online or in-person!

Which brings me to my next point: Market Research. If you haven’t gone on a Zoom date, don’t knock it until you try it. Heck, it might even become your thing. It’s a super-safe option of seeing if you hit it off with someone in a semi-awkward new normal way of communicating. This option takes off so much pressure. You can wear pajama pants if you want to, you don’t have to worry about ordering the right drink or food, and you get to avoid the entire goodbye scenario. And if you do hit it off, that might just be a winner! Try a dating app if you haven’t. Try a more serious online dating service if you know you’re ready for that level. Try a safe, friendly walk in the park! Don’t give up because you’ve had ten dud dates, or your checklist of qualifications were not all met.

This all also ties into the next point about tried and true soul searching. Do you know what you want, or are you just feeling lonely? Feeling lonely is okay and normal. I’m just saying, make sure you’ve used some of this quarantine time to take yourself on dates, too! Go in with an open mind but a focused mind. Be aware of your intentions. Do you want to date around, date one person, have awesome sex, find a travel partner, get married, have a baby in the next year, all of the above? All of those are good things! Be honest with yourself and others about your goals – that’s how you accomplish them.

Lastly, that universal juju: A great friend of mine gave me such a fantastic piece of advice, which I have to share here: “We all have relationships.”

Like truly, that simple. We often think of romantic relationships as so wildly different from the rest of our life. We imagine sparks and magical kisses, chats until 3 a.m. every night, and butterflies. Those things might happen in your relationship – but, realistically, not all the time. We have so many different types of relationships that we form and build every day. I honestly prefer my best friend as my 3 a.m. chat partner, I prefer my mom as my cry and hold me partner, and I prefer my butterflies to come from my love of rollercoasters. Don’t forget all of the skills you already have in relationship building, or feel like you’re jumping into cold water.

Relationships will never just magically become easy. Do your best! Go on a hot Zoom date! Set your intentions, and try, try, try new things!

Send me questions, send me comments, send me thoughts; I can’t wait to hear from you.

xoxo,

Emma

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Community Mix is our monthly hodge-podge of content from the voices of a hodge-podge of beautiful Cincinnatians. Catch up on “By the Book” and check out new editions of “Sex Talk with Emma” on the first Saturday of every month for a journey through the strange and wonderful world of sex.

Sex Talk with Emma: Love in the Time of COVID

Is finding love in the time of COVID-19 a possibility? And if so, HOW?

Write into Emma with your questions, stories, comments, concerns!