Home Away from Home: Zvisinei Dzepasi Mamutse
You walk into Zia's living room and you’re immediately greeted by a warm elegance that speaks volumes to her beauty. Images of sophisticated African women in long gowns, like the red gown she’s wearing now, adorn her hallway. My eyes immediately settle on the British buffet, where elegantly placed gourds remind me of my grandmother's kitchen.
Zia is humble, but don’t let that fool you: She has fierce ambition. The world she lives in now is quite different from the life she knew in her native Zimbabwe, and I’m looking forward to uncovering her story. She offers us fruit and water before we settle in to talk.
Written by Clara Matonhodze Strode. Photography by Emily Palm.
Tell me a little bit about your background. Where were you born?
I was born in Guruve but grew up in Harare, the capital city of Zimbabwe. My parents had two homes – a country home and a rural home. We lived two worlds: On the weekends, we would go to the rural home in Guruve, and during the week, we would live in Harare, where we went to school. It was this way because my parents did a lot of farming, and also because my dad was a successful businessman in the Guruve community; a lot of people looked up to him. When I was growing up, we lived with many relatives.
I can totally relate. When I was growing up, we always had extended family members living with us. This is very different from how families live in America. How do you think that impacted you?
Growing up like that taught me a sense of community and a sense of wanting to share whatever you have with others. I think it nurtured me to always give back. My parents were always assisting others. My dad used to say that there was no point in educating us and not the community, as well, because by leaving the community behind, you’ll always be the only person providing for its upkeep. He believed that in helping the community prosper, no one would bother us because we would all be collectively prosperous.
What about your mom – was she supportive of this role your father had in the community? What was she like?
She was always into some sort of project to help the community. Her projects ranged from crèches [daycare] to cooperatives to whatever else was needed. I remember how the women and little kids would gather and sing praises for my mom; the songs went something like this: “You are the only one. You are the only one, Mrs. Dzepasi, who has love to help us..." She did a lot for the women and community children.
Is there a specific project she did that you felt impacted you?
Yes, and in fact, it's the project that inspired my organization: Vasikana Project. She decided to assist women in the area by promoting the use of contraceptives. Before this, the women were not empowered to say no or to stop having children. They could not say no to sex with their husbands.
When my mom started this project, she faced a lot of resistance from the community, especially from men. Some would threaten to hit her and call her all sorts of names. She never gave up. She walked from home to home to educate the women about family planning. She ultimately found some funding that gave her a scooter, and through this, she became a health counselor. She was eventually tapped to become part of the Ministry of Health's community initiative that led a countrywide effort to improve maternal health by educating women about family planning, giving them a voice to make decisions about their own bodies. These groups of older women were called "Mbuya Utano," meaning "Health by Grandmother.” The irony was that she had nine children of her own, and I believe deep inside, she was driven by a desire to empower other women because she felt that she had not been empowered. Men hated the program and resisted it, often beating up their wives for taking contraceptives or saying no to sex.
Did you have a sense of what she was doing and the impact it had on others?
Well, when you’re growing up, you don't think much about what your parents are doing. You casually dismiss their efforts as just another project. I was just a typical teenager getting embarrassed by my parents. However, as I got older and started college, I began to appreciate her efforts and understand what she was trying to do.
So, tell me, through all this, at what point does the idea of moving to America enter your life? Can you walk us through your thought process of deciding to come here?
I don't think I had much of a choice to consciously decide this was the next step. That decision was made for me because I had gotten married, and my husband was already living in America. I had imagined that he would move back to Zimbabwe, but at that time, my in-laws had put a lot of effort into helping me attend college at Africa University, and I did not want to seem ungrateful. The biggest thing for me was that I ultimately wanted to be with my husband. When I came to visit him here in America, I imagined we would go back together. However, he talked me into staying and that I could still do what I wanted to do while living in America.
I know at one point you competed in the Miss Zimbabwe pageant and were third runner-up. When did this all happen?
Well, I had been modeling in high school and had won Miss Malbrough High school title. Part of the prize was a modeling course with Silhouette Studios (a prominent Zimbabwean modeling agency). I completed the course and modeled professionally for them – a lot of runway fashion shows, commercials, and print advertising. The most fun for me through this was getting paid a lot of money for an ad where I had to appear as a prostitute.
After high school, I went to Masvingo College, which is when I entered the Miss Zimbabwe competition. I had never thought of entering, but when I won Miss Masvingo, I figured, “I will go for the big competition.”
So here you are, a college freshman in another town far away from home. The modeling bug had bitten you, and you wanted more; can you tell me why? What was that experience like?
I think I just was enjoying myself. At that age, you don't think why; you’re just doing what brings you fun, and at that time, the pageants and the modeling industry in Zimbabwe were very different. It was well organized and financed and was a national T.V. event. I really just enjoyed being there. It didn't seem like it was anything much, but when I think back, I'm like, “Wow, I almost made it to Miss World!” And in fact, that's how I met my husband.
Wow – that's a great detail. Tell me more.
Apparently he was traveling from Europe. When he got to Zimbabwe, he heard that Miss Zimbabwe was the hottest ticket in town. He saw the lineup and was excited that a girl from Masvingo (his hometown) was in the competition, and he wanted to meet and support me. His sisters tried to convince him not to go and rest instead since he had just arrived in the country, but he was adamant that he wanted to go to the competition. In fact, he told his sisters that he planned to meet me and marry me. He made a bet with his sisters, with them saying there was no chance. The running joke in the family now is that I was a bet!
Walk me through how that courtship unfolded.
We met after the competition: He was dressed in a suit, and I remember thinking his green eyes were really weird. It made me think he was weird, but he was so gentle and sweet, and he told me that he had just arrived in the country and had made it a point to come and see me. I thought it was really nice of him, but I went on with my life.
A couple weeks later, he turned up at my college. I was classmates with his cousin, who reminded me that we had actually met at the Miss Zimbabwe competition and that he had come to see me. At that point, I was quite charmed that he had followed up, but I thought it was because he was a player.
What a wonderful story. He knew he would marry you before he even met you!
Oh yes, and you know, we didn't date for long. We met in November, and I was pregnant in December.
Oh, no way! So, you had a shotgun wedding?
Yeah, that's pretty much what happened. He said he wanted to make sure that I was not going anywhere.
So you come to the U.S. with your husband. Can you tell me what that transition was like? Was it a smooth transition? Was it what you expected?
Well, you know how T.V. portrays America. You see only the good – Hollywood. Even though he used to tell me that life in America is really hard because you work so hard, I really did not have a real understanding of how hard it is. I had no idea of just how different the lifestyle would be.
Tell me more about that. What did you experience?
So for instance, growing up, we had maids and someone to do the garden. Even though my father was strict about us having chores and doing work, we still had people to help. During school breaks he would lay off the help and divvy up the work between the bars, the farm, the grinding mills, and the home, and we, the children, would have to do it. Even with all that, I was unprepared that I had to do everything myself in America.
Tell me more about that transition. Tell me about the fulfillment of your “American Dream.” How did you manage to cope?
This was when I realized that my upbringing actually prepared me, because transitioning back and forth between the luxury of the city and its amenities, to living in the rural area with no running water and nothing to do but read Mills & Boon, that prepares you for anything because you learn to adapt really quickly. I had become strong and was a hard worker. But I also came here as a parent, so it also became about her. I could not let my child down. I did not want to give up. As a woman, I had to keep going for my child.
What helped you?
Well, I had a support system. My husband’s family helped a lot. It is different for someone with no relatives. I had a lot of community and family support here in Cincinnati, unlike others who lack that. We had some guidance.
Tell me how you were surviving and earning a living? How did that direct the person you are now?
I started working as a nurse aide. My husband and I were working at Marjorie P. Lee. After some months, I was determined to be more than just a C.N.A. [certified nursing assistant] so I enrolled to be an L.P.N. [licensed practical nurse]. That started me on a path, and I resolved to reach higher to attain the dignity I thought I deserved. I just kept going.
That's awesome. Now you’re studying for your P.h.D. Tell me more about that and where you are headed with it.
Yes, I am doing a P.h.D. in nursing with a focus on global health. I didn't want to be just a nurse; I want to be able to work on other community issues pertaining to health.
One of the reasons, Zia, that I wanted to do this interview and what I admire most about you is Vasikana Project, which I got to know a few years ago. Can you tell us about the project and what it does?
Vasikana Project started in 2014 as a conversation with my sisters about what we could do to continue the legacy of our mother, who had passed away suddenly. Our father passed away five years after she did, so we wanted to start something that connected us. At first, we started an initiative with bras, but that didn't take off…
Well, I can see why. Who needs a bra in the Millenium…
Well, yes – [laughs] – so we had started hearing stories about girls missing school because they were on their period. We started having conversations around this, and the stigma still tied to menstruation. We decided it fit perfectly with our mom's legacy of removing barriers and empowering women. We could advocate and bring awareness to the plight of girls and empower them. There were stories of girls sitting in the river just to ease the pain of their period or to wash off the blood.
Oh wow – sitting in the river just to ease off cramps?
Yes. It's gut-wrenching. As a result of the weak Zimbabwean economy, girls are suffering the most. The families are displaced because parents have to go to neighboring countries to work and make money to sustain the children. There are villages of children being left alone. AIDS has also ravaged the communities, and girls in particular face many risks because of this. When I talk to the girls, their tales are shocking. It's so difficult for them because they have to fend for themselves. They simply don't have the means. Do they buy menstruation products or do they buy food? They choose food and opt to use things like corn husks to manage their period. In schools, they don't talk about what the girls are going through because there's a stigma surrounding the subject, so the girls do not understand what's happening to their bodies. They just suffer in silence. When we were growing up, the families were together. There were a lot of support systems in place, but now the families are scattered, and those systems are no longer there.
So Vasikana Project seeks to address this. We did distributions from 2014 to 2016, but the pads are not enough. We are working on a resource that will also educate the girls about what is happening to their bodies. The resource, a handbook, will have a template for the girls to make their own pads. Our goal is for the girls to have this resource and to have a trained person go from school to school, holding training sessions for the girls across Zimbabwe and getting them in circles to create their own menstrual supplies that they can reuse.
How successful have you been?
We have been successful, but we can do more. To date, we have helped more than 200 girls and distributed more than 5,000 products in five schools. We need to do a better job of tracking the girls to see how they are doing and if they stayed in school. This is also the reason why we are seeking to have a full-time person to work with the girls. We want to make sure that they stay in school and realize their dreams. Right now, most of their dreams are limited. They aim to marry a sugar cane cutter. They could do so much more and have bigger dreams if they knew it was possible. We hear a lot about early marriages and sexuality, and this is because the girls are not empowered to say no or to think that they can go to college. The goal is to open a world of possibility for them that they can be a teacher or nurse and be able to provide for themselves.
Can you talk about your other initiative with the journal “I Call on You Sis…”?
“I Call on You Sis…” is a result of my Dreamwalking class with Sonia Jackson Myles. Dreamwalking is a personal development program that aims to get women to execute their dreams and desires. Sonia had asked me where I derive power and resilience. I listed a few key things like faith, kids, prayer, and all the women in my life who help me bounce back and are constant sources of encouragement. These women made me realize that their words are powerful and mean so much to me even when it's something as simple as “keep going.” Likewise, something dismissed casually can be defeating, and it was this insight that became the inspiration for the journal. It was a reminder that women's relationships are powerful.
That's true, and that's so powerful. Resilience is a thread across many immigrant women's stories. When I first came in, you showed me gourds that were brought from Zimbabwe that you feel ground you. You said they were your essence. Can you tell me how they tie in with your resilience as you create a home away from home?
The "hari" [gourd] is a potent reminder of my roots. I got them back in '99 when my mother-in-law brought them from Zimbabwe. They remind me of my mother's kitchen because, in my Shona culture, the hari is a kitchen staple. They are handed down from generation to generation. They represent the umbilical cord, which is where they derive their power from. They draw me back to those simple times and are a reminder of the cord that attached me to my roots. Right there in that kitchen. So even as I have created a new home here and found a new welcoming community, I am still reminded that I need to give back in much the same way my mother did.
What are you most looking forward to?
I look forward to Vasikana Project partnering with local organizations to create change in Zimbabwe, and working with Girls Health Period and Dr. Patricia Back of Md4Me to make this happen. I am looking forward to really affecting change in this space.
There's never a right time. You have to decide this is what you want and find the opportunity to do it.
I look forward to learning how other organizations are successful so I can emulate for Vasikana Project, and to publishing the Menstrual Health Handbook. I look forward to a world with no unnecessary stigma for girls. Perhaps most of all, I look forward to speaking more about this, creating circles of women who support each other and live in a world where girls are exalted!
So, at the end of life, Zia, when everything has been said and done, when the question is asked, ‘Why did you do what you did,’ what will your answer be?
Well, I believe that the opportunity of being here in America, with so many opportunities and resources, why not do everything you can to advance yourself and for others? I believe that is why I left Zimbabwe, so that I can do better. I also want my children to know that they really can do anything they want because they saw their mother do it. I am modeling the behavior for them so they cannot accuse me of not reaching my goals. I can't tell them, “Do this while I flip T.V. channels.” There is really no excuse why not. There's never a right time. You have to decide this is what you want and find the opportunity to do it. I went from being a nurse aide to a nurse practitioner. I went to so many job interviews; I could have given up. Now, as an addiction nurse practitioner, I feel I'm right where I am supposed to be: helping others find themselves. That's what I think I am meant to be. It might be addicts in America or schoolgirls in Zimbabwe or standing shoulder to shoulder with another sister; I did it because it was always about helping others.
“Home Away from Home” is Clara Matonhodze Strode’s monthly column celebrating immigrant women who now call Cincinnati home. Nominate folks for Clara to interview here.